She Sat There Rocking
by EatSleepReadHP
Summary: James is the only person that knows what Lilly is going through, but will she ever allow him to comfort her? Or is she too blinded by her lack of self confidence to allow anyone to get close to her? Please read and help me, if you have any suggestions or
1. Comfort

"Their lives affected many, and their death is a great loss to everyone." There was that

word again. Death. The terrible word that had torn Lily's parents from her loving grasp.

Lily wanted to cry. Wanted to but couldn't. "They will always be alive in the hearts of

their loved ones." There was now a humming noise in her ears. She was suffocating. She

couldn't breath. She couldn't think. As quietly as possible Lily turned around and

slipped through the trees behind her and walked towards the ocean. She stopped on the

edge of the cliff and looked at the waves below her, totally oblivious to the one person

who had followed her.

James stood at the edge of the trees watching the girl in front of him. He gazed at her

porcelain skin with a few delicate freckles covering her nose, her deep green eyes so

filled with sorrow, her skinny figure shivering in the cool air, he just wanted to hold her.

He knew better than anyone there how it felt to loose a loved one, and to have to live the

rest of your life thinking you might have been able to prevent it. A lock of her red hair

had escaped from her barrette and was blowing across her face, and it took all of his self

control not to run to her, to brush the hair off her face, and to kiss her tears away. Her

light black dress was floating around her legs swaying to the wind. There was no other

word to describe her, she was perfect. Carefully so as not to startle her he took a step

forward.

Lily was looking down at the waves that she had once found so calm and majestic. Now

they just looked cruel and violent. How many years had she spent up here playing with

friends, having picnics with her family, or when she wanted it, using it as a special

thinking place where she could be alone. And now for the first time she really needed

somewhere to find comfort, but the only place she knew to go to was filled with painful

memories that she didn't want to be reminded of. Her thoughts were interrupted by the

soft crack of a twig. She turned and saw James Potter. Look at that smug face; he was

here, perfect Potter. Of all the nerve, just to be here, at her parents funeral, always happy,

living perfect life, no pain, no hurt. It was like a dam broke, hot wet tears rolled down her

face, and splashed onto her dress, soaking through the thin black material. She ran at

James Potter and hit him square in the middle of his chest. She felt a little satisfaction at

the surprised look on his face. She hit him again, and again, and again, until she was too

weak to keep hitting, and then she collapsed onto the floor. In one motion he scooped her

up and cradled her like a baby. She made a feeble effort to push away, but achieved

nothing. His strong arms held her close, and she realized he smelt really good. She leaned

in a little closer and rested her head on his chest. Wait what was she thinking, arrogant,

mean James Potter, who insisted on making her life miserable. He was constantly asking

her out, not because he liked her, but because he knew it bugged her to no end. If he

really liked her maybe she wouldn't mind, maybe she might even say yes, but she knew

he didn't like her. No one would ever like her. Her eyelids felt heavy, she didn't think she

could keep them open much longer. She blinked once, twice, and then she gave up and

closed her eyes immediately falling into a deep dreamless sleep.

James looked at the peaceful sleeping Lily curled up against his chest. She fit against

him perfectly. He wished he could preserve this moment forever; he closed his eyes and

pretended that this was real. Here they were finally together. But he knew this wasn't

true, she didn't want to be there, she didn't like him. He would never show it outwardly,

but six years of rejection had hurt him. Every time she rejected him it was like she was

stabbing him with a knife. As gently as possible he pushed her hair to the side, brushed

his lips across her forehead, and whispered I love you.


	2. Is this a Joke?

Lily woke to the bright sunlight streaming through the window. She didn't want

to wake up. She snuggled under her covers hoping she could fall back asleep. Suddenly

she sat upright, remembering what had happened last night. "The nerve of him!" she

exclaimed. "Good morning sleepyhead" called her best friend, Adeline Teal Cooper from

the kitchen. "You slept long enough." "He took advantage of the situation. I did not give

him permission to touch me. How dare he." Lily raged rolling out of bed. Grumpily she

walked into the kitchen, but immediately turned around and walked right back out,

slamming the bedroom door behind her. "Nice to see you too!" James Potter commented

from where he was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Adeline sighed. Lily fell

back onto the bed. Why was he here? Adeline came into the room. "Lily he came in at

eleven last night carrying you. You were too conked out to apparate or flo, so he walked

you all the way from Mellow Cliff to my apartment. What was I supposed to do, grab you

and slam the door in his face? Plus he wanted to make sure you would be okay. Come out

and have some breakfast?" "No." Huffed Lily. "I'm not hungry." However at that

moment, her stomach growled fiercely. "Oh come on!" Adeline grabbed Lily's hand and

dragged her back into the kitchen, where Lily carefully sat at the opposite end of James

and looked out the window carefully avoiding his eyes.

"Are you okay?" James asked in a soft voice. "No!" Lily exclaimed, eyes

flashing. "I am not okay. My parents just died, you came to their funeral

uninvited, following me around everywhere. You carried me without my

permission. Who knows what you did to me while I was asleep. I can't believe

you. You took advantage of my situation, and…" Lily paused to take a breath.

"Your right," whispered James before she could continue. "Of course I am right, and

wait…what?" Lily asked as she realized what he had said. "You are right," said James

said again, a little louder. "I did take advantage of your parent's death, and I'm sorry,

maybe I'm a terrible person for it, but is it so bad of me to want to be with you? To want

to hold you, and comfort you? I've never asked anything of you except to give me a

chance to love you, and to give yourself a chance to love me back." Somehow they had

managed to come together. There faces were so close that she could feel his warm breath

tingling on her cheeks.

For the first time in her life she really looked at him and to her

surprise saw something in him she had never thought James Potter could have: pain. She

could see it clouding over his eyes, lingering across his lips, radiating from him in such

strength that her heart ached for him. Snapping out of her thoughts she realized what he

had just said. "Love?" She asked hysterically. She looked away from him, her mind

racing. _Love? Love? Did he actually just say love? We've never even had a civil _

_conversation before. How could he think of love? This had to be a joke. No one would _

_ever love me. He is just being cruel, playing with me. See how far you can go with Lily _

_before you ditch her. Ho ho. What if she gave him a chance and it was true he was only _

_playing around. _Lily did the only thing she could think of and laughed.

James sat there holding his breath. He hadn't meant to say love. It had just come

out by accident. It was true he did love Lily. Should she agree to get married on the spot

he wouldn't think twice about it. But this wasn't the way he had imagined telling her. The

way he had imagined telling her, they would be somewhere romantic. Maybe by the lake

having a picnic, or on a couch by the fire sipping coco, or flying through the sky together

on his broom, under the stars, and he would whisper into her ear 'I love you Lily Evans',

and she would reply 'I love you James Potter' and they would share a kiss so sweet and

pure it would last forever. He looked back at Lily who was staring at him. She really was

the most beautiful woman in the world. He looked at her wide eyes, then at the freckles

speckled across her nose, and lastly at her soft pink lips. She opened her mouth and his

heart beat faster. Then she laughed. James dropped the cup he was holding and it fell and

shattered on the floor along with his broken heart. He had to get out of there. He grabbed

his jacket and apparated.


	3. Ignored

"No, wait," said Lily, but it was too late James had left, the look of his sad eyes still in

her head. She curled up her legs and put her arms around them. "I didn't mean it." She

said in a small voice. "Was I totally wrong?" She turned to ask Adeline. "No." Said

Adeline loyally. "Well, maybe just a little." She added. "He sounded sincere, I know

you've hated him for forever, but maybe you should just give him a chance." "Maybe."

Said Lily.

James spent the last days of summer locked in his room thinking about Lily. He

had always thought that she cared about him a little. Their fighting was always more like

banter, nothing serious. And sometimes when she thought he wasn't looking, he saw her

staring at him. They'd always been enemies, but he'd thought friendly enemies, with

potential. Obviously he had been wrong. There was no doubt in his mind now that Lily

hated everything about him. After six years of trying to convince her to go out with him,

James was ready to give up. James resolved that if she really didn't want anything to

have to do with him, he would leave her alone, and he would move on.

Lily put on a smile for the rest of the week, and tried to enjoy herself as she and

Adeline swam in the pool, shopped for school supplies and clothes, and mainly relaxed

for the last few days of summer. But despite the façade she wasn't having a good time.

Even getting her head girl badge didn't lift her spirits. The part that bothered her most

was that the person she was constantly thinking about was not her dead parents whom she

should have been mourning, but James Potter. The night before going back to school she

found some comfort in knowing that tomorrow she would see James, and everything

would be back to how it was for the past six years. She decided that she would apologize

to him if she got the chance.

Lily and Adeline arrived early to the train. "Go on." Lily told Adeline. "I have to

wait for, um, well… I'm going to wait a moment before coming onto the train." So

Adeline went onto the train to find a compartment. Lily stood by the train with her

baggage. She looked up after a few moments as she heard James's voice in the distance,

and smiled. Everything would be alright, exactly as it had been for the last six years, Lilly

told herself. She thought of every year when James greeted her after summer.

"_Lils! Did you have a good summer? I'm sure you missed me, but other than that how _

_was it?" James exclaimed._

"_Don't ever call me Lils again." Lily retorted, ignoring his question. The truth was she _

_didn't really mind it when James called her that. She thought it was kind of sweet, though _

_she would never tell him that._

"_Lily, love of my life, I have an important question to ask you. Will you marry me?"_

"_No!"_

"_Will you go out with me?"_

"_No!"_

"_Please?"_

_Lily pretended to think, then batting her eyes flirtatiously replied. "Okay."_

"_Really?"_

"_No you prat! If you come one step closer to me I will hex your sorry butt all the way _

_home!"_

"_Hmmm" James considered then waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Home alone with _

_Lils."_

_Lily glared as his friends snickered._

"_Okay, okay I'm leaving." James said running his hand through his hair and giving her_

_one of his famous smiles "But I know you won't be able to resist my charm for much _

_longer. One day you'll be begging to go out with me." _

_Lily snorted, pointed her wand at him and started counting. "One…two…"_

"_Run!" yelled James and he and his friends scattered laughing._

James walked onto the platform 9 and ¾. This would be his last time ever walking

this way as a student of the school. Suddenly he heard a noise from behind him. Quietly

he slipped his hand into his pocket. Who ever was behind him was obviously following

him. He took two steps forward, and turned around pulling out his wand. In a matter of

seconds his follower leapt onto him and James let out a laugh. "Sirius you freak!" He

exclaimed as they tumbled to the floor. Remus and Peter came out from behind the pillar

laughing. "You were scared, you little girl!" Sirius exclaimed. "Nah, I was faking."

James stood up and casually leant against the wall brushing his hand through his hair.

"Mmmm, right…" Sirius said with raised eyebrows. "Come on lets get on the train," said

Remus, giving Sirius a hand. James grabbed his luggage and started walking. He looked

over to the train and saw Lilly standing near it with her luggage. Smiling he started

walking towards her. But then he remembered what had happened. With a pang he

thought about all the years before, every year he would tease her. But this year he wasn't

going to do that.

It was almost a ritual for them, thought Lily. She knew exactly what he was going

to ask her, and exactly how she was going to answer. Her heart beat faster as she heard

him coming closer. She turned around and looked at James's face. He stared stonily

ahead of him. Ignoring her completely he walked straight past and onto the train. She

stood there stunned. He hadn't even said hi to her.

After getting up, Sirius started walking after James followed by Remus and Peter.

Suddenly he stopped causing them to bump into him. "Ouch! Wha-?" Began Remus but

stopped as he saw what Sirius was looking at. The Maurderers stared as James walked

straight past Lily without even glancing at her. "Um, did that just happen?" asked Peter.

"Lets find out." Said Remus pushing Sirius who was still standing dumb struck. The ran

onto the train and found James sitting in one of the compartments.

"What happened?" asked Remus.

"Nothing happened."

"Well something had to have happened, because you just ignored Lily."

"Yeah, why didn't you say hi to Lily?" Sirius asked.

"No comment." James turned away.

Sirius waited.

"Fine, she laughed at me." James admitted.

Peter snickered.

"She always laughs at you." Sirius informed him.

"Why did she laugh at you?" said Remus kindly.

"itoldheriwantedtoloveher" mumbled James.

"What?" questioned Sirius

"I have to go, heads are meeting with the prefects in a few minutes." James said hastily,

getting up.

"Oh!" exclaimed Sirius immediately forgetting about what had happened with Lily. "Not

even at school yet, and you've already planned a prank! Daring too, a compartment full

of Prefects and Heads. How come I wasn't told about it?" He asked pretending to look

sad, but failing miserably, as his eyes danced with excitement.

"Oh, I'm not pranking them, I'm head boy. Didn't I tell you?"

Sirius fell off of his seat.

"What was Dumbledore smoking when he made that decision?" he exclaimed making

everyone laugh, including James.

"Watch it Black," said James faking a strict voice. "I might have to take points off of

your house, for being impertinent to the head boy."

"You wouldn't!" said Sirius grinning.

"Yeah you're right." James agreed smiling.

"I was sure Remus was going to get it." Sirius added looking at Remus.

"Um, I decided, that some of my, uh, other activities conflicted too much with the duties

of being head boy, so I informed Dumbledore at the end of last year not to even consider

me. Don't worry, I really don't mind, and I can still be a prefect."

"Oh, like I'm a better choice, I would skip duties any day, for any monthly activities."

James said.

"Okay ickle jamiekins, show me the badge." Sirius demanded, holding out his hand.

"Fine." Said James faking a sigh, grabbing it out of his bag, and tossing it across the

compartment. Sirius looked at it, then passed it to Peter, who in turn passed it to Remus.

"We can get away with anything now!" Peter exclaimed excitedly.

"Remus won't abuse his position as head boy." Said a voice from the door.

All four boys turned to see Lily standing in the door way, her head girl badge pinned on

her chest.

Sirius grinned evilly. "But James would." He stated.

"Well, lucky for us, James would never be appointed, oh please no.." Lily trailed off as

she watched Remus pass the badge to James, who smiled sweetly before pinning it on his

chest.

Lily turned and banged her head on the wall a few times. "Why me? Why me? Why me?

Ouch." she muttered under her breath before putting a hand on her head and walking

straight out the door without looking back.

**Whoops, I can't believe I spelt Lily's name wrong. I apologize profoundly for making that mistake. Tries to hide, while mumbling an explanation. My friend's name is Lilly. I guess I just get so used to writing that name with two l's that I didn't even think twice about it. Thanks for pointing that out to me! I love my reviewers!**

**Chelle: **In case you still haven't figured it out, they are approximately 17/18 years old, and they are in their last year at Hogwarts.

**Charliethegoldfish345:** Thank you for being so nice about my mistake. I hope you keep reading my fic. If you see any other mistakes please tell me. Thanks!

**Lily:** I think you are a bitch. No need to be so rude about my writing. I'm trying hard, so if it really bugs you that much, please stop reading. Jeez louise…

**MiSs WeStHoFf HeRsElF **

and

**isabelle:**

You guys are really sweet! I hope I don't disappoint you. Keep reading please, and tell me how I'm doing.

**NOTE: REVIEWS MAKE ME WRITE FASTER! Please keep reviewing. I like criticism (and praise too D) I just think it is unnecessary to be rude about it. **


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